I might be suffering from the fear of being average - My Thoughts!

I might be suffering from the fear of being average. I'm not completely sure. But I feel like it. Ever since I was little, I wanted a different kind of life from everyone. When I was younger I wanted fame and money because I saw all these celebrities living their life.

I thought that these people are making the most of their lives. They don't have to do a boring 9 to 5 job everyday and have to worry about supporting themselves. They can have family and it still won't change things.

I didn't know how to phrase it before, but what I actually thought was that money is the key to all freedom. Money makes you free in this world. If you have money, you can do anything you want. Focus on your goals and hobbies, go whereever you want,eat anything, meet amazing people and so much more. Fame is just addition to it. Because if you are popular, the chances of you meeting important figures is more.

But fame has its downsides too I know. 

But what I am talking here is avoiding the average life most people live.

Now I really don't want to end up like others, or what I like to call now the herd. The society. I don't want to do basic things in my life and die. I want to achieve great things, live life according to me with full freedom and even change the world in the process. Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. You can change the world by even the slighest contribution. You are making a difference.

I have been an introvert all my life and love my solitude. I love silence. But I also have been running to things that I shouldn't have some time ago. I tried to be someone I am not. I kept failing. I have realized things, I have changed.

Yesterday I was dreaming of a life where I am free, doing what I love. A picture inspired me, an art. It was of a man working in a room, alone. He was working on art, he was writing papers and books. I actually bookmarked it. It is #129, you can search it. It was simple yet I loved it so much. To do what you love, in your solitude. You literally don't need anyone to be happy if you are content with yourself. Create great things. 

This is why I have so much respect for artists, they spend time doing what they love to create pieces that we love. Some art changes the world.

But not everyone does it, the average man is living an average life. Millions of people can't even feed themselves daily. I wish I could change things. Humanity should be able to live their life to the maximum. To do what they love. If everyone is living to their max potential, I won't mind being average then. People are doing what they hate, just so that they can survive. It's not their fault though, completely. 

This fear I have is one of the reasons I have decided to not even have children, I don't want to lose my freedom. I may not even marry someone if I don't find someone whose interests align with me. I don't want to end up like most couples. Have a family, have problems, be in debt, well you get it, it just pains me. My family's situation I have been seeing in my life also contributed to do this.

Recently I have started watching educational videos, especially Philosophical ones to change my thinking and it is working. I want to know more about things, Knowledge itself is power. 

Just before writing this article I watched a video on how much you actually live your life, how much time you really have. And it hit right inside my mind. I want to have as much time as possible, to do the things I love. 

I want to accomplish something different in life. I don't want to end up like the 99/100. I want to be 1/100. And for that I will constantly have to get better. This brings me joy. Joy to see I have leveled up from the past, I am one step closer to my goals. Pure dopamine and happiness. 

My future is in my hands, my future depends on my choices. I understand I am still young currently, my thoughts may change. But this is who I am currently. 

"Inspired by the fear of being average"